Toxic Sibling

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Dissociation (DID/MPD), abuse, emotional wounds, etc.

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Lifter
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:21 am

Toxic Sibling

Post by Lifter » Mon Sep 03, 2018 6:41 am

I have an older brother who is 4 years older than me. We are both adults in our 30's now and do not live in the same home anymore. My brother lives with his wife located hours away. Ever since we were little, my brother has always been a very toxic person to me. He gets irritated very easily even over little things. He makes me feel bad a lot because he habitually speaks to me in a very impatient, irritated, and rude tone of voice and manner. The last time I spoke to him while on the phone, he called me stupid for asking him about something. Then he kept talking to me in a very irritated and impatient manner. He did apologize to me once for being mean to me and not being a good brother when we were young. He even admitted in his own words that I was a better brother than him. And like I would say about the last 3 years, every time I email him, he would ignore me on purpose and not reply back. I know he received it and he also admitted to me once that he saw my email. He also acts that way to my parents as well when it comes to emails. First of all, I only email my brother at the most like 4 times a year and all of them are not complicated questions or comments. I don't understand why he does not respond to my emails. He is also very arrogant to because when I am with him, I get a sense that he feels he is so much smarter than most other people.

I do not want to associate myself with him anymore. To be honest, he has contributed almost nothing useful to my life and his bad attitude drains out my happiness. If he ever asks me why I don't visit him anymore, what should I say? Should I give him white lies? Or should I tell him truthfully that I don't like him because he often speaks in a manner that makes me offended and uncomfortable? My guess is probably speaking kindly and tactfully the truth is the best choice. At the same time, sometimes what you say can hurt the person a lot and make them hate you.

LUCIANA
Posts: 329
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:46 pm
Location: U K

HELLO

Post by LUCIANA » Sun Dec 30, 2018 11:14 pm

Shalom , so sorry to hear about your Brother being unkind, you are not alone it happens, my younger sister caused me lots of troubles and sorrow, after my Mum passed I stopped talking to her and its been 24 years, it is sad but i don't miss her , same with my Brother, recently he connected on fb but to be honest there is not much to say to each other , he did some bad things to my Mum and said bad things about me which were lies. Sometime for our own protection we have to separete ourselves from family members, I forgive them but I cannot have a relationship because they don't aknowledge what they have done to me the hurt they have caused , how it affected me, my sister is a liar and a bully. Take care of yourself , trust in THE LORD ,nobody has the right to offend, abuse, dominate, manipulate , its not the will of GOD, blessings in JESUS NAME.

Lifter
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:21 am

Post by Lifter » Thu Jan 03, 2019 2:24 am

Thanks for your response. I am sorry to hear about your sister and brother treating you poorly and about your mom passing away. Your contribution helps me because it allows me to realize I am not alone. I have never told my brother how I felt. I like to cling negative emotions inside and not express them outwards to the offending party. I hope God is able to help you with your family situation.

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