Experience with a bad pastor

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Lifter
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:21 am

Experience with a bad pastor

Post by Lifter » Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:58 am

I left a church after attending there several years because the youth pastor was very rude to me on many occassions. I just feel like venting my feelings about this pastor. On numerous occassions when I talked to my youth pastor either in person or over the phone, he often times spoke to me in a very stern and cold manner. He made me feel bad a lot by the manner in how he talked to me. Instead of expressing compassion, he often would point out my own flaws and minimize my problems. He once apologized to everyone while preaching for speaking like a stern stepfather and apologized to me just in case I thought he was unhelpful.

Looking at the past interactions I had with him, he was often times extremely rude, unhelpful, and was overly harsh in the manner he spoke to me. He made me feel like he didn't care about my problems and made me feel like the bad guy. I don't even understand why he was able to keep his job for so long. I know for a fact that there is more than just a few people who don't like him as well.

The youth pastor was known for being habitually late to meetings, not consistently being in his office during office hours, and is known for offending people in the manner of speaking. The only reason why I stayed at the church for about 7 years was because I have friends there and I was so used to going to that church. One day I told myself that I had enough of the youth pastor's unprofessional and rude behavior so I changed churches. I never told him the real reason why I left.

Shortly after I changed churches, I found out that the youth pastor who often times acts like a jerk to others resigned. His reason for resigning was because he said he could not offer anything more to the church and that he has given all that he is capable of doing. I heard him say that from a source and I believe it is highly possible the real reason why he resigned is because many people don't like him because he is a jerk. I still feel very pissed off to this day and I daydream sometimes of calling him up or emailing him to let him know that I don't like him and that he is a jerk who made me change churches. Of coarse I would not do that in real life because it would burn bridges and I am pretty sure God would not want me to do that. What he did to me on numerous instances counts as a form of verbal abuse. What pisses me off is that this youth pastor got a paycheck for doing a terrible job as pastor. I am sure there are a lot of youth pastors who could have done a much better job as pastor than him. By the church hiring him and letting him continue to do a poor job at pastoring, it shortchanged not only myself but other people as well.

I find it funny that he majored in communications at college when communicating with others is not his forte. By him apologizing to the audience or random people for being overly stern in speaking, not showing up on time to meetings, and other poor behavior implies that people have directly told him to his face that he is behaving inappropriately. He is a hypocrite too because he admits to viewing porn and not having great character. But aren't pastors supposed to behave in a manner at least better than someone who is not a pastor? I know for a fact that after I left the old church, a handful of people planned to leave too which included a Sunday school teacher and someone from the music ministry.

My additional rant is this. He wasted my time on numerous occassions, pissed me off, and never even deserved to be hired as a pastor to begin with. He should have chosen a different career path that does not involve giving guidance to people. He should have been fired a long time ago for consistently being rude and unhelpful. Even after he apologized for speaking like a stern stepfather, he continued speaking to me like that. One time, he spoke to me in a very harsh and condemning manner why I don't show up consistently to Friday night fellowhips and told me in a very not so nice manner that I should not view God the same way as viewing someone from looking at their facebook account. I don't know why this youth pastor has such a bad attitude in general in the way he talks. Everytime his name pops up, the first thing that comes to mind is this person does not know how to speak tactfully. He is blunt, rude, and offensive. Thanks for reading my story.

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