I really need help please

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im_veracity
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Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: Oregon

I really need help please

Post by im_veracity » Mon May 31, 2010 11:48 am

I have been free for many years. This has just come up and it scares me. My husband went to work out of town for 6 days. He took the new car and I can't drive the old one. I don't know anyone here. There is no where I can even walk to. I feel like a caged animal. I am so angry that he left me without transportation. I am beyond angry. Years ago I when I was mentally ill, I used to burn myself with cigarettes because the pain would distract me from the emotional pain I was feeling. I have been free for so long now! Tonight I had to fight burning myself. Usually, I can pray but I can't seem to get beyond telling the Lord He has permission to help me, to change me.
I can't believe my husband left me with no transportation. There's no public transportation here, not even a taxi. I think I might be irrational but I am beyond angry. I am hateful. I hate what he has done to me. I feel like an animal who has been left with food and water.
I won't talk to him on the phone. I have sent him horrible e-mails telling him how I feel.
I have 5 more days and I can't take it! I feel trapped and I hate what he did to me!
I'm having a lot of trouble finding things to do to keep me occupied and just thinking that I can't even get my hair cut or buy something or be around people has me feeling like I'm going mad. I am totally without peace at this time and feel sorry for my husband because I can't stand him right now. I'm saying horrible things to him.
Can anyone help me? PLEASE HELP ME!
I HATE WHAT MY HUSBAND DID TO ME AND I HATE MYSELF.
I have never been like this before.

BELIEVER-IN-CHRIST
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Post by BELIEVER-IN-CHRIST » Mon May 31, 2010 3:05 pm

We are real sorry to hear about what you are going through in this moment and are covering and lifting you up in prayer. I can understand your frustration about being stuck at home with out any transportation to do the things that you normally would through out the day. Rest from the everyday routine in life can be a good thing even if we don’t see it in the moment. I think your forced solitude can be a blessing for you even if you don’t see it at this time. Take this opportunity to pray, read God’s word and use this time as an opportunity to grow in your relationship in Christ.

Pray for your husband, cover him and your marriage in prayer. Release the negative pain from this experience in prayer and hand it over to Jesus Christ to take care of it for you. When you hand that pain over to Jesus you can begin to receive and recognize the love God has for you and your marriage. Take that love and extend it into your relationship with your husband. Be encouraged as you have less than a week to go, and the time will go by fast.

In Christ
Believer-in-Christ
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."

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Godschild
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Post by Godschild » Mon May 31, 2010 5:40 pm

I understand your feelings. I have been there. It is a good time to strengthen your position in Christ and against the enemy. The enemy will try to use occassions such as this to inject negative and evil thoughts into your head and feelings into your soul. Do what the Word of God says in James 4:7-9. Practice faith and dependency on God. Practice faith in Him that He will meet your every need. It is in turning your thoughts toward God that you will defeat the devil. Ask God what it is He wants you to learn this week. Ask Him to send you The Helper to help you see everything He wants you to see and to help you to learn all that He wants you to learn through this.

Meanwhile, I pray that The Father strengthen you in His Love. I pray that The Father reveal Himself to you. I pray that you come to know and experience for yourself how wide, deep, high, and broad is His Love for you. I pray that He remove all interference that the enemy is sending your way that keeps you from hearing His voice. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

In His Love,
Godschild
GOD IS limited only by those limitations which we, as human beings, place upon Him. GOD, HIS POWER, His love, and His forgiveness are limitless.
~Man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

im_veracity
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: Oregon

the truth and the lies

Post by im_veracity » Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:53 am

I MADE myself pray in the Spirit this morning. (BTW, I am in Australia for 3 months now, no longer in Oregon.)

It IS OK that I was angry. It IS OK that I let my husband know that I was very hurt and very angry. It DID happen. It is true that I was treated like an animal, put into a pen, and locked in because I have a disability and cannot walk very far. I was very hurt and very angry.

It is not OK not to forgive him, which I finally did but it took a while.
It is not OK to believe the lies that I am not loved, that I am an animal, and that I am rejected.

I am loved. God loves me and sent His Son to die for me and Jesus loves me because He came and took my punishment for me.

I am not an animal. I was created in God's image.

I am not rejected. I am accepted in the Beloved.

It is not true that I cannot bear it. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Thank you for praying!

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Godschild
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Re: the truth and the lies

Post by Godschild » Tue Jun 01, 2010 2:22 am

im_veracity wrote:I MADE myself pray in the Spirit this morning. (BTW, I am in Australia for 3 months now, no longer in Oregon.)

It IS OK that I was angry. It IS OK that I let my husband know that I was very hurt and very angry. It DID happen. It is true that I was treated like an animal, put into a pen, and locked in because I have a disability and cannot walk very far. I was very hurt and very angry.

It is not OK not to forgive him, which I finally did but it took a while.
It is not OK to believe the lies that I am not loved, that I am an animal, and that I am rejected.

I am loved. God loves me and sent His Son to die for me and Jesus loves me because He came and took my punishment for me.

I am not an animal. I was created in God's image.

I am not rejected. I am accepted in the Beloved.

It is not true that I cannot bear it. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Thank you for praying!
Good, good, good for you!!! :clapping: I am standing in agreement with everything you said here! God bless you!

In His Love,
Godschild
GOD IS limited only by those limitations which we, as human beings, place upon Him. GOD, HIS POWER, His love, and His forgiveness are limitless.
~Man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

im_veracity
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: Oregon

I hope I've learned

Post by im_veracity » Wed Jun 02, 2010 2:10 am

I hope I've learned everything that I was supposed to learn because it has been a grueling few days.

The Lord said "I have a plan for your life." I said, "You have a plan for my life?" He said, "I said that in my word." Then He said "You don't listen to me." That's what I said about my husband. He doesn't listen to me.

I ignored the Lord when I was reading the news online. He said "I have good news for you. Why don't you let Me tell you?" I ignored Him and continued to read the news online. Than He said "You ignore me." I complain about my husband ignoring me.

I found out that I am afraid of not having control over my life. I am afraid of someone else controlling my life. I had absolutely no control over my life the past few days. All I could control was my reaction and it wasn't good.

I think I have been fighting God, myself, and the enemy. It's very draining but also illuminating.

im_veracity
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: Oregon

Becoming compacent

Post by im_veracity » Wed Jun 02, 2010 2:25 am

I think we tend to become complacent about how "in the flesh dwelleth no good thing." I had become complacent knowing that "my righteousness is as dirty rags unto the Lord" and that He took my sin and gave me His righteousness. I knew it but forgot just how filthy and unrighteous I could be. What a lesson!

im_veracity
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: Oregon

lest AT ANY TIME we should let them slip

Post by im_veracity » Wed Jun 02, 2010 3:01 am

Therefore we aught to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.
Hebrews 2, 1

I let them slip and got jerked up really fast. It wasn't fun but it was necessary.

im_veracity
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed May 13, 2009 5:12 pm
Location: Oregon

COMING BOLDLY TO THE THROWN OF GRACE

Post by im_veracity » Wed Jun 02, 2010 3:48 am

I just read the scripture about coming boldly to the thrown of grace to obtain mercy, and finding grace to help in time of need. I told the Lord that I didn't go to the thrown of grace. I took the scenic route. He corrected me and said, "Oh but you did! You didn't come to Me directly BUT YOU DID COME TO ME. When you went to the forum to ask for help, you came to Me!"

I firmly believe that crying out for help at the forum and the prayer that was prayed for me made all the difference. I knew something was horribly wrong. It was the Holy Spirit that lead me to the forum to cry out for help although I just figured that out.

I am amazed at how much difference a person can make in someone else's life just by "being there" and praying a simple but effective prayer, and by not condemning. It's also amazing to think that the Lord considers it coming to Him when we go to someone who He lives in and works through.
HE CONSIDERS IT GOING TO HIM FOR HELP!

Lord, help me to be that person for someone else! What a blessing to be used of the Lord like that and what a responsibility it is to be loving and tender to His sheep.

Godschild, thank you! You made a difference in my life and The Lord considered it going to Him for help!

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