A Death

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michel67
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A Death

Post by michel67 » Sun Mar 02, 2014 2:45 am

I have recently this week had to go through a grieving, again, for someone whom met something to me .. A dear sweet woman, whom I didn't know greatly but knew well enough to call a friend.. whom I would see a couple times a week as she brought her 3 year old granddaughter into my work.. We would always sit and talk a bit and was a loving and caring person.. I understand death happens, and cannot be prevented,, and its always hard for everyone .. It is difficult for me to understand her passing and why, asking again the question why as I have done before in a death.. I had seen her earlier in the week, she talked with me about her granddaughter singing in the church choir and showing me the pictures on her phone.. Then I hear that a few days later she died in her sleep, didn't wake up and just supposedly stopped breathing.. She was fine , had been fine, and now shes suddenly gone. My coworkers and I cried for her, miss her and will miss her and miss seeing her come in , bringing her granddaughter.. I know no one knows when God calls us home and his reasons for doing so.. I suppose He needed her and it was her time and I am not angry at Him ,, but it is hard to understand again why,,, I know I experienced my mother dying suddenly when I was a child,, and my fathers death was a illness, that happened over time... sudden deaths, without any preparation and awareness it is coming, is hard, and without being able to say goodbye..

stillGods
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Post by stillGods » Sun Mar 02, 2014 8:32 am

:hug: for you

i'm so sorry for your loss, it is really difficult when it is sudden. please be very gentle with yourself over the next while as you grieve, she was a big part of your life and will be missed by you a lot as you've said, so do take care of yourself as you process it bit by bit.

thinking of you at this sad time
:hug: and lots of love to you Michel67

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michel67
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Post by michel67 » Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:46 pm

Thank you stillGods.. Its just something I have to get over .. death of someone and losing someone is never easy for any one to experience, go through, feel, I think feel is the best word that explains it.. It cannot be stopped , and is a part of life ,, in some instances its just the why and not understanding the timing I think and reasons... and its just that this particular person was fine, I had seen her, had a conversation a day earlier prior to her death, and suddenly gone.. I keep asking why.. I feel for her family .. no one can predict a particular time they may be gone.. and its as if I had known, I would have sat down and visited with her more the last time I saw her, would have hugged her and told her she was a special person.. and I know she had no idea a day later she would be gone as well.. gone from her family, granddaughter and friends.. But shes in a better place and with our Lord Jesus.. so that is comfort even though I will miss seeing her ..
I know her little granddaughter who is only 3 will be missing her , she stayed with her grandmother all day through the week and spent a lot of time with her and it will be a big transistion and change for her to go through with not seeing her grandmother and being with her.. I will be attending the funeral this weekend with my coworkers and even though I don't like funerals, have been to too many myself, I will be telling this little girl I love her as I have done before, and Jesus loves her and Jesus is taking care of her grandmother now..

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michel67
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Post by michel67 » Wed Mar 05, 2014 12:47 am

Why is death so hard? Why does it have to be so hard? I think I have only experienced true grieving with 1 other person in my life.. my father.. with my mother I was a child and did not experience true grief, I didn't cry at her funeral, I suppose I stuffed all the feelings inside, not knowing how to deal with grieving her.. My father I did cry, cried a lot , because I was older , I went to his casket with some of my family, to say goodbye, and it all came out, I took his hand, and told him his pain was over, and everyone who was sitting down left the room, to give me my time with him.. Now losing this woman, who I consider a friend.. is difficult, mostly because trying to understand how someone can be fine, you see them one day, and then they die in their sleep, just don't wake up.. how can that be? how can someone just die in their sleep and not wake up.. it is so hard to understand... When im at her funeral to tell her goodbye, it will be difficult for me not to touch her hand, and tell her goodbye, but I know I cant touch her, for touching a dead body can bring more problems into our lives.. I will get over it I know,, I know God had his reasons perhaps, and perhaps He needed her more than her family and those who knew her,, but the trying to understand is hard..

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