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Gods Grace
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I'm New

Post by Gods Grace » Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:16 pm

To God be the Glory that I found this site. I'm very nervous but very willing to do what it takes to get my life right with are Lord Jesus. I have alot of emotions right now and really dont know were to start.As I write this note my hands and wrist are hurting that I can barely type. I know satan is trying to keep me from writing this cause my head is all over the place if that makes sense. I recieved Christ as my savoir when I was 16. But because I smoked I did not believe I was saved. But when the alter call was giving I felt 2 people one on each side lift me up out of my chair and walk down with me. I looked to the right and then to the left and no one was there. I recieved Christ that day. I'm 48 now. I have been in and out of the World. Begging the Lord each time to forgive me. I have never known the Love of Christ like a true Christain knows. I only have a head knowleadge and I know now the it is Leaglelizism. I want so much to Love the Lord and know His Love for me. The more I read the more I know I need HELP. I dont know if I'm suppose to tell you everything but there is a lot of things in my life that I have opened doors for satan to try and Rob,Kill, and destroy me. Since I was 5 I can remember being in my bed and tucking my blankets all around me like I was in a coffen and saying see It took me to die for them to show they love me, as they cried over my grave. I'm guessing thats were it started with the bondage. I still to this day have never felt loved by anyone. I dont say that for people to feel sorry for me its just the truth. I'm so empty and it hurts so bad. I have had over 47 men in my life looking for that love 4 marriages. Raped, beating so on and so forth. Drinking and drugs was always apart of my life. At the age of 19 I killed someone drunk driving. I have had 5 DUI's. I have crash 4 or 5 cars drunk. And the list goes on and on and on and on. I have repented each time and asked the Lord to forgive but still go out and sin again and again and again. I hurt so bad I want delieverance. I have more to say but the tears are rolling down face that I cant see the board so Please pray for me ....
Its all about HIS GRACE...

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Gods Grace
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Me again

Post by Gods Grace » Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:53 pm

Just getting some of this out in the open is makeing me feel better. But then its only short lived. I go back to the comdamtion and guilt. I know his word says he forgives me and I believe that with my head but trying to get that in my heart is much harder. I know this is of satan. Like I said I have had more men in my life and not one them loved me.Ecept my 2nd husband. I thought cause they slept with me that meant they loved me. I had 2 dads that did love me and it hurts. My real dad left my mother while she was pregant with me. And my step father ran around and drank all the time. There was alot of abuse to my mother. I remember at the age of 6 I stood on the table with the phone in my hand telling him I would call the police if he hit her. I got beated by one of the men at the age of 21. He beat me so bad that they had to take me to the hospital. But he cried and said he was sorry and I took him back. I found out that I was pregant and on mothers day he beat me up again and said if I did not have an abortion he would beat the baby out of me so I did and never saw him again. But that has been my whole life. My husband now, is with another women. We got married in 07. His whole life is porn and drugs. Which I got in too it with him. But the Lord got me out of it. The Lord knows my heart and I dont want that life I want to live for JESUS.
Its all about HIS GRACE...

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Gods Grace
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Post by Gods Grace » Sat Apr 03, 2010 7:51 pm

Please forgive me if I'm not doing this right. I gave alittle bit of my back ground.And now heres what Im feeling. I have anger, I dont like myself very much, I'm judgemental, I'm a people pleaser cant say no to people and when I do and if they give me a drity look or additued I turn around and say yes. Feeling of worthlessness, No joy most of the time. Cant make up my own mind. I do what everyone else wants to do so they will like me. I can only pray in my head it smeems like I can't get the Words out. My head tells me bad things to say to Jesus. Like when Job's wife told him to just curse him. I too thought I had done the unpardonal sin. I was with a Minister for 3 years and he was married he was full of lies and I believed him. I'm afraid that I'm always wrong in everything I do.I feel that everything I do is a sin. I can't retaine the Word of God. When I try to read it I lose interest. I feel I'm going to lose my mind half of the time. I have this burning sencation in my left shoulder. I feel sorry for my self. I feel like a shell. I have no direction in my life at all. I have NO LIGHT . ' miserable. See now satan is telling me that I'm stupid for even writing this stuff. But I know I need help and prayer. Like I said I will do what ever it takes to be HEALED. In Jesus Name
Its all about HIS GRACE...

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Post by nautical999 » Sun Apr 04, 2010 12:08 am

hello dear sister i for one would like to tell you that you are loved not only by the family here but by God Himself. John 3:16 is all about the love God has for you. That verse is about YOU. Never let the devil tell you otherwise.
We have so many good ministers we can hook you up with. Put in a request for deliverance and we will hook you up.
A thousand shall fall at my side and Ten thousand by my right hand

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Post by Rescuer » Sun Apr 04, 2010 1:48 am

Hello friend in Jesus.

God wants you to know this from Psalm 103:

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves..."

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Post by turgh » Sun Apr 04, 2010 5:29 am

Heard this the other day - God loves Jesus - not because He was perfect - but because He's His son. As believers we're not perfect yet He loves us because we're His sons and daughters!

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Post by stillGods » Sun Apr 04, 2010 9:19 am

just want to agree with the others because it's the truth - you are loved very much by God dear one and you can know His love in a tangible way.

(ps Turgh, Jesus is perfect, He is the only one who never sinned so is the only one who could be the perfect sacrifice for our sins. I do hear what you're saying about God loving us even though we arent perfect, thats very true)

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Post by Godschild » Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:37 pm

Dear God's Grace:

I want to welcome you to our forum and to our family. You have come to the right place and you are most welcome here. We stretch our arms to you and welcome you in. We hug you and surround you with love, the love of God that is shed abroad in our hearts for us to give to you. I want you to know that you are no different than anyone else here. Some here have issues that are different from yours, but everyone here has or has had issues of one sort and another. Some here have overcome most of there issues and are in the process of overcoming many more and some are in the beginning processes of overcoming. Nevertheless, we are all overcomers in Christ. So, there is no shame for you. There is no condemnation for you.

I want to tell you right now that you have the victory! You may not know it in your mind or feel it in your heart. But you have the victory. Jesus obtained that victory two thousand years ago when he defeated Satan at the cross. Satan is a defeated foe. And it just so happens that today is the day that marks that victory! Glory to God!! But you also need to know that you grabbed hold of that victory when you gave up, threw in the towel, and decided to let go and let God. God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believed on Him would not perish but have everlasting life. And Jesus loves you so much that if you were the only person in the earth He still would have come and given His life just for you. There is complete acceptance in Him.

I understand your lack of strength. This is okay. None of us are truly strong in and of ourselves. It is [truly only] in Him that we live, and move [and breathe] and have our being. In, of, and by ourselves we can do nothing. But we have and can do all things through Christ Jesus Who strengthens us, for greater is He Who is in us than He who is in the world. We do not have to be strong or try to be strong. When we are weak then He is strong because Christ's strength is made perfect in our weakness ~provided we confess our weakness to Him and receive (and allow) His strength in and through us. When we come to realize and accept that we have no strength but that which Our Father God gives to us which comes through Our Risen Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ then we begin to become truly strong ~in (and through) Him.

So, welcome to our family. Here you will find love and encouragement, not condemnation.

Here are a couple of links for you. The first one is for a referral form for you to fill out so that the moderators here can put you in touch with a minister of deliverance, and the second link is for our sister site where you will find many helpful articles. I also encourage you to peruse the threads here as well.

http://www.ministeringdeliverance.com/r ... ferral.php


I also want to tell you, very briefly that as I read the first parts of your posts I felt as if I was reading about myself. So know that you are in my heart and that I do understand exactly where you are, and I am here to tell you that you are probably at the best point in your life than you have ever been. It is that point ~that place~ of turning to the One True God. Believe in the Power of His Resurrection

In His Love,
Godschild :wave:
GOD IS limited only by those limitations which we, as human beings, place upon Him. GOD, HIS POWER, His love, and His forgiveness are limitless.
~Man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

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