Is This Why My Marriage Is Failing (Long Story-Please Read)

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kizzypooh
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Is This Why My Marriage Is Failing (Long Story-Please Read)

Post by kizzypooh » Sun Aug 03, 2008 9:25 pm

Hello Everyone,

I feel like you all are genuine Christians therefore, I feel the need to ask you all about why my marriage is failing. I feel like Satan is tearing it apart. Please read me story below and give me your honest opinion.

I knew my husband from high school. He was fairly popular and I was a nerdy person. He went off to the Army and I went to college. I was talking to a friend one day and he mentioned that my husband was over his house earlier. I told him that I had had a crush on him since high school and for him to fix me up with him. He did so and we began dating over the phone. When we finally did meet up it was on New Year's Eve at the casino...he was drunk as a skunk and I offer to take him home since I didn't drink. On the way home we agreed to get together later and we did. We lost contact for a few months and then got back together towards the summer.

During the time that we dated in the summer he was always leaving me hanging. He would tell me that we were going out and that he would come by to see me and then wouldn't show. I found out earlier that he was smoking "weed," which would explain his weird behavior. While dating him I was constantly depressed and wrote painful poetry at the drop of a dime...it was almost like automatic writing...my feeling would pore out on the paper like water. I can't do that now.

Anyway, around October we started making out heavily and doing things that we shouldn't....we weren't having sex yet ( I am a Christian and made the "true love wait" vow when I was 15). Yet we were doing everythign but having sex. He told me that we were going to get married on 12/17/05 but when the date came around nothing happened. We didn't even plan anything. HE just said he forgot.

In January we started having sex outside of marriage and I ended up pregnant after a few weeks of losing my virginity. That is when he begin to abuse me physcially and lie to me. After I had the baby, it got worse... he started hanging around men that acted "gay" and he even beat me up for saying something about one of them. He also continued to do drugs...exactly what drugs I don't know.

A few months after I had the baby (in October) we got married (in January of 2007). His abuse got worse. It resulted in me calling the police numerous of times, him going to jail twice, me catching an STD that I didn't go out ang get on my own (he said he didn't cheat...but I didn't either so he had to have cheated ), me getting deeply buried in debt (while he kept his name clear---everything was put in my name), and finally a separation.

We have been separated since 12/24/07 but have tried to reconcile several time since then. We have been in several physical fights and lots of verbal and mental abuse since then. I told him to go ahead and divorce me since it was obvious with his behavior that he was cheating or something...but he has never filed for divorce.

I asked him to come back home and he wont. He says that I am just going to send him to prison for domestic violence. I said that I wouldn't. He says that he can't come back to me and would rather be alone (he is doing drugs and probably sleeping around with women...and maybe men). He seems to enjoy living single and probably will never divorce me while I sit back and pray for restoration of the marriage. I am to the point where I feel like a divorce is needed. He says he is a Christian, but I don't believe it...he said that God doesn't love EVERYONE and that most preachers are fake so why go to church.

The first thing his mom said when we told her that we were going to get married was "There's always divorce." My mom didn't make it any better. So we eloped and got married in a city hall. Everyone said that he would cause me serious trouble and ruin eveything that I had worked so hard for...he did.

Could this be the reason why my marriage failed? Because people wished bad on us, premarital sex, eloping, going against parental advice?/??
To God Be the Glory!

dorcus247
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why marriage isn't working

Post by dorcus247 » Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:43 am

Hi dear sister,
You can't break all the rules and still expect to win the game. The
marriage vows state something to the effect " what God hath joined
together, let no man put assunder". Can you honestly say that it was
God who ordained this marriage? What kind of spirits that were in
you both that brought you together? Many times the spirit of witchcraft
or control will bring two people together for their destruction and the
destruction of their children. The husband seeks to control the wife through abuse , mental or physical, and the wife seeks to control by
trying to change the husband by whatever means she can, compromise,
seduction, denial of marital obligations, and becoming a willing recipient of the husbands abuse. Also is this a generation pattern for women in your
family? I definately would advise you
to seek deliverance and Godly counsel and get your
life and heart right with Jesus and let Him guide you in any decisions
concerning your husband. One broken vessel cannot fix another one.
It takes two whole people to make a marriage work. Have you asked
about a referral for someone in your area yet? I hope you will soon do so.
Just because we have accepted Christ doesn't mean we still don't do
dumb things. Most people have so much inherited junk that it can influence so many decisions we make in life, but Jesus came to undo
the works of the devil and He can straighten out your life and make you
a blessing to many around you. It may not be easy but Jesus loves
you so much and He love you just as you are and where you are and will
gloriously change your life if you will just let Him. God bless and I will
be praying for you as I know many others will be praying also.
dorcus247

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Post by Kingdom Warrior » Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:46 am

In the other forum you had also asked about why spirits were following you from place to place.

Most likely, both of these situations are related and could well be the result of a generational curse.

Scripture gives us some clues:
Numbers 14:18 - The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.
Generational curses can happen as a result of our own actions or the actions of our parents or grandparents. Once the curse has been enacted, these evil spirits now have a "legal right" to invade our lives.

Given the fact that you mentioned witchcraft in your family, you (and your sister) are probably carrying a generational curse and the resulting demonic spirits that have made a legal claim to you - and to your children.

When we become born-again as Christians, these spirits don't necessarily just up and leave. They have a "right' to be there. In order to remove them, we must renounce that right in the name of Jesus Christ.

Sometimes we must be highly specific in this renunciation as these spirits are extremely legalistic and have no intention whatsoever of leaving.

At that point, once the "legal" rights of these spirits has been broken, we can then expel them in Jesus' name.

If you were to combine this post with your other post from the other forum, you begin to get a glimpse of how these curses and the resulting presence of demonic spirits can destroy our lives.

Scripture also gives us guidelines to follow in our marriages. Be not equally yoked. (Christian married to a non-believer). And please don't say that your husband is a Christian.

Remember the words of Jesus - You shall know them by their fruit.

The fruits you have described are: drug abuse, adultery, drunkenness, physical abuse, abandonment.

Jesus also told us not to divorce except for adultery. Paul told us that if a non-believing spouse should leave us, to let them go.

While the Lord hates divorce, He has shown us mercy in that He knew there would be times when it was absolutely necessary.

Seems like you definitely fit the "absolutely necessary" category. I think you should drop this guy like a toilet seat - but that's your choice. (Just my 2 cents worth on this one).

I recommend that you send in the referral form so that you can get hooked up with a deliverance minister in your area.

Working through generational curses and the deliverance from the evil in your life might require some skilled intervention.

The effects of continuing without the proper help will affect not only you, but your children and their children as well. Once these demonic spirits establish a claim, they never leave.

They must be expelled.

Blessings in Christ to you.

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Post by Rescuer » Mon Aug 04, 2008 11:54 am

I'm so sorry to hear of this. This is horrible. I would encourage you to leave him NOW before the abuse elevates to something worse.
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves..."

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hello

Post by gabby247771 » Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:00 pm

Hi!!
I want to agree,,, See God sends the person pre ordained for you!!
I want to tell you... as a victim from abuse for many years,,and he was in and out of jail for many yrs,,,but the vicious cycle never ended,,,NEVER!!!

Then,,,I realized,,,after 15 yrs,,,,God did not send him to me,,Satan did,,,Because,,,a house divided cannot stand,,,until I realized I am on put here to be abused,,and suffer,,and live in daily tourment and sorrow and grief,,,that is from the pit directly...and satan USED a man to enter my life to cause my mind will and emotions to be stressed to the max,,,

my dear one,,your life is suppoe to be joy,,Love,,comfort..understanding,,
and,,if your the victim,,,your in a postiton of defending yourself,,and you cannot change that,,,and,,you cannot change anyone,,
because after 15 yrs in a co dependant relationship,,,it ended up for him amny many many many yrs in Prison,,,and God wants so so so much MORE for me,,
and in abuse..you get confused to what LOVE really is,,,you will never know love in an abusive relationship,,ever!!
you will get so beatdown physically and emotionally you will become isolated,,,stressed,,living in fear,,,ect,,,and that me dear,,is NOT of God!!
+)
YOU my dear,,,deserve so much much happiness,,,and getting OUT of the abuse is harder then anyone can imagine,,because emotionally you will be at a place you feel you have no other choice,,I can go on for hours,,because I know,,I know how you are feeling,,
PM me if you like,,
but I tell you,, I am FREE from ALL abuse,,and I go to bed at night and Sleeeeeeeep!!! sleep in peace and peace of mind,,,and that my dear one is well worth every minute away from all the abuse,,
+)
God has pre ordained you,,,and pre ordained a spouse for you!!!

+)
Someone that will love,,nourture,,,be kind and gentle and understanding!!
Just for YOU!!!

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
Have a Blessed Day! for it is Written: I will never leave you, nor forsake you!

Live for God Destroy the pricipalities of Darkeness!!!!

gabby247771
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Re: Is This Why My Marriage Is Failing (Long Story-Please Re

Post by gabby247771 » Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:21 pm

kizzypooh wrote:Hello Everyone,

I feel like you all are genuine Christians therefore, I feel the need to ask you all about why my marriage is failing. I feel like Satan is tearing it apart. Please read me story below and give me your honest opinion.

I knew my husband from high school. He was fairly popular and I was a nerdy person. He went off to the Army and I went to college. I was talking to a friend one day and he mentioned that my husband was over his house earlier. I told him that I had had a crush on him since high school and for him to fix me up with him. He did so and we began dating over the phone. When we finally did meet up it was on New Year's Eve at the casino...he was drunk as a skunk and I offer to take him home since I didn't drink. On the way home we agreed to get together later and we did. We lost contact for a few months and then got back together towards the summer.

During the time that we dated in the summer he was always leaving me hanging. He would tell me that we were going out and that he would come by to see me and then wouldn't show. I found out earlier that he was smoking "weed," which would explain his weird behavior. While dating him I was constantly depressed and wrote painful poetry at the drop of a dime...it was almost like automatic writing...my feeling would pore out on the paper like water. I can't do that now.

Anyway, around October we started making out heavily and doing things that we shouldn't....we weren't having sex yet ( I am a Christian and made the "true love wait" vow when I was 15). Yet we were doing everythign but having sex. He told me that we were going to get married on 12/17/05 but when the date came around nothing happened. We didn't even plan anything. HE just said he forgot.

In January we started having sex outside of marriage and I ended up pregnant after a few weeks of losing my virginity. That is when he begin to abuse me physcially and lie to me. After I had the baby, it got worse... he started hanging around men that acted "gay" and he even beat me up for saying something about one of them. He also continued to do drugs...exactly what drugs I don't know.

A few months after I had the baby (in October) we got married (in January of 2007). His abuse got worse. It resulted in me calling the police numerous of times, him going to jail twice, me catching an STD that I didn't go out ang get on my own (he said he didn't cheat...but I didn't either so he had to have cheated ), me getting deeply buried in debt (while he kept his name clear---everything was put in my name), and finally a separation.

We have been separated since 12/24/07 but have tried to reconcile several time since then. We have been in several physical fights and lots of verbal and mental abuse since then. I told him to go ahead and divorce me since it was obvious with his behavior that he was cheating or something...but he has never filed for divorce.

I asked him to come back home and he wont. He says that I am just going to send him to prison for domestic violence. I said that I wouldn't. He says that he can't come back to me and would rather be alone (he is doing drugs and probably sleeping around with women...and maybe men). He seems to enjoy living single and probably will never divorce me while I sit back and pray for restoration of the marriage. I am to the point where I feel like a divorce is needed. He says he is a Christian, but I don't believe it...he said that God doesn't love EVERYONE and that most preachers are fake so why go to church.

The first thing his mom said when we told her that we were going to get married was "There's always divorce." My mom didn't make it any better. So we eloped and got married in a city hall. Everyone said that he would cause me serious trouble and ruin eveything that I had worked so hard for...he did.

Could this be the reason why my marriage failed? Because people wished bad on us, premarital sex, eloping, going against parental advice?/??
Hello..
I also wanted to add...I have 4 kids,,and they too endured the abuse,,it effects everyone involved,,and my children also became emotionally a wreck,,,after being seperated since 2007,,,why would you ask him back knowing the outcome,,,?? I know it is a harsh question,,,but you have to try your best to rationalize all this,,and also I wanted to tell you,,in an abusive relationship,,because there is so much emotional and physical things going on,,,,the enemy is going to use BOTH of you to pull OUT the bad in both of you,,thingds you never thought you were capable of doing,,,hitting,,arguing,,ect....that is NOT love,,
I know you know all this,,but you have to keep free,,,,stay free,,,,and most of all....keep the children away from all the abuse,,,they will learn from what they see,,,and they do not need to see 2 adults fighting continually and in and out of jail,,,it is a vicious vicious cycle,,,and it never ends,,the abuser will always always always keep your mind in a whirlwind,,always in control,,always keep you emotioanlly a wreck and not be able to see or think clearly,,,and that....it the ENEMY working THRU him to tourment you in your mind and emotions,,
God wants so much peace and harmony for you!!
also,,I am a stronger person now,...noone will ever hit me nor speak an ill word to my children,,,we do not deserve that,,,neither do you!!

You,,,my dear have so much God wants to give you in your life,,,and he gives peace,,peace of mind,,,a sound mind,,you need to tear down all the strongholds the enemy has used this mans words to build lies and deception in your mind,,all the emotional baggage that comes with it,,
Do not let the enemy use your emotions any more thinking you need him or this kind of life,,,it is all a lie..
I opologize if I seem harsh,,,but when it comes to domestic abuse,,,I get so angry at the enemy to use men to physically harm woman and use them for the playground of emotions to lure and tourment these woman!
The enemy HAS been defeated my dear,,,and the enemy is using him yo harm you and your family,,,and you do not need that,, and the D/A...that too mixed in is double trouble...
I will say it took me about 13 yrs to free myself from this person that abused me badly..so I was asked one day,,name 3 things that you love about him,,,I couldnt come up with ONE!! not one,,
a good provider,,,NO,,,loving and caring..NO,,,,,understanding,,NO,,comforting..NO,.
Nothing,,I could not come up with nothing,,only that my emotions made me feel I could not live with out him..

well guess what my dear..he is in Prison AGAIN for another 8 yrs,,,after the 50th time,,,,and it will never end,,and I walked away,,and now do what I need to do for me and My children to live a NORMAL PEACEFUL life...
and you too my dear,.,,need that for you.,.

Because,,that is what GOD wants for you,,
you have so so so so much hope..!!!
+)

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
Have a Blessed Day! for it is Written: I will never leave you, nor forsake you!

Live for God Destroy the pricipalities of Darkeness!!!!

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Post by Godschild » Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:05 am

Dear Kizzypoo:

I was so sorry to read your story and to know of the pain and confusion you are in. I can relate to you in so many different ways even though our situations are different. The one thing I want to say to you is that when there is violence in a marriage we are not bound to stay in it. You need to get out for your own sake and for the sake of your child. It really does not matter who said what or spoke what. The fact remains that you are in physical danger.

I think a trap many of us women (and men too) have fallen into is the one that society (aka "the world") has set for us. We grow up thinking that we must be married, that we must be a wife and mother no matter what. The world has taught us that once married it is "...and they lived happily ever after. The End." No, this is not true. Marriage is a commitment, a very strong commitment, one that is difficult to break and it is a commitment that requires a great deal of work, time, and effort There are reasons, biblically, that we can divorce. One is adultery, one is if one is not a believer and that one leaves, and although there is no direct mention of it the other would be physical violence. (I think the closest the scripture gets to it is when Jesus taught about it and said that Moses permitted divorce due to the hardness of heart men had toward their wives -so that women would not have to continue living that way. I would think this includes or means violence.) I know that God, Our Father would not want us to remain in a situation where we are being battered, beaten up and bruised.

My first marriage lasted 5 years and the fact of divorce was very difficult for me to handle. But the simple truth of the matter was that I was married to a man who was given to psychotic breaks. At least thats the way it looked (in retrospect). He was very, very violent and after he finished beating me up he would always act as if nothing ever happened and that he was the sweetest person in the world. That marriage almost cost one of us our lives. Thank God for His constant Presence. He almost killed me on more than one occasion and after the night I actually planned to kill him something happened, something changed and three weeks later we separated and later divorced. Had I not gone through with the separation and divorce and continued living with him I would probably be in my grave -or he would be in his. No. Our Heavenly Father does not wish us to be in situations like this.

Do not use your energy trying to figure out "why". Use your energy instead developing the closest most intimate relationship you can with our Father, God.
He seems to enjoy living single and probably will never divorce me while I sit back and pray for restoration of the marriage. I am to the point where I feel like a divorce is needed. He says he is a Christian, but I don't believe it...he said that God doesn't love EVERYONE and that most preachers are fake so why go to church.


I doubt that he is enjoying anything at all about his life. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to divorce him. I do not counsel this easily, believe me. But I have been in a violent marriage. Violent men do not stop being violent just because we stay with them. They have to be willing to find out what their issues are, face them, and deal with them. They have to be willing to take responsibility for their actions and then learn to act responsibly. God does love everyone. After all, He sent His Son to die for us -each and every one of us, because he loves us so much. In fact, if your husband were the only person in the world, God still would have sent His Son for him. Jesus would have died just for him. "...God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son..."

Pray for your husband. Ask the Father to send someone to him who can help him, whose ministry he will accept, someone who he will be able to relate to, someone who will help to bring him to the saving grace of Jesus Christ and the true knowledge of God and His love.

Please do not feel any guilt or shame dear Kizzy. Many of us have been where you are. Many of us have been the butt of a hoax authored by the devil himself and perpetrated on us by the world system. Give your husband to God and let him go. Know that we here love you and support you. You spoke of wanting restoration in your marriage. Before that can happen your husband has to be reconciled to Christ and he has to have his relationship with the Father restored. And, even if you do divorce him there is always the possibility that your relationship can be restored in the right way. But I would not hold out hope for this right now. I would put all of my hope in God, Our Heavenly Father and in Jesus Christ His Son and Our Saviour.

In the Precious and Mighty Name of Jesus, I lift Kizzypoo up to you Father God. She is your precious, precious child. Father God please give her Your Wisdom and comfort her heart. Heal all of her afflictions Father and help her to walk in and fulfill the purpose that You have for her life. Father God, please give her comfort and peace as she takes the steps necessary to get the things in her life that are wrong right. Father God, heal her broken heart and take away her wounds. Dry her tears, Father, and give her reason to smile once again. Show her the strength that comes from joy in the Lord and give to her that peace that passes all understanding that will guard and mount garrison over her heart and her mind in Christ Jesus. Thank you, Father. Amen.

Godschild :wave:
GOD IS limited only by those limitations which we, as human beings, place upon Him. GOD, HIS POWER, His love, and His forgiveness are limitless.
~Man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

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Post by starlio » Tue Aug 05, 2008 8:10 am

Dearest Sister,
It is with much saddness that I read your story.
I have been divorced myself and I know the guilt that goes with it!
Your dedication to your marriage is commendable but I urge you to get out of it, for the sake of you and your child.
Jesus would not want you bound to such torment.
He loves you :smile:

Feel free to PM me, if it will help.

Love and blessings

Maryann

kizzypooh
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Post by kizzypooh » Sat Aug 09, 2008 4:27 am

I appreciate all the responses. I am going to cut and paste the responses and print them. I want to study what you all have said. I have been looking up stuff on generational curses too.
To God Be the Glory!

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Post by Godschild » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:27 am

Hi Kizzy :wave:

I just want to say this to you. I once was listening to a well known pastor on Television. He is a wonderful preacher, teacher, pastor. I heard him say one day that there are not many reasons a wife can divorce her husband. He said adultery is one and he said if the husband is violent to PLEASE GET OUT!! He said he had a member of his congregation that he counseled often and she was trying to find ways and reasons to stay in her marriage. He said he listened intently and gave her as much support as he could. He regrets that he did not counsel her more strongly to leave her husband because he had to officiate at her funeral. You see, her husband finally killed her.

I sent you a PM. I hope you read it. Kizzy get your child and get out. Let the dust settle and the air clear and you will be able to think much more clearly and you will be able to hear God much more easily.

Also, Dear Kizzy, ask Him for Wisdom, ask Him for the leading and guidance of the Holy Spirit and then do what he tells you to do.

We love you.

Godschild :wave:
GOD IS limited only by those limitations which we, as human beings, place upon Him. GOD, HIS POWER, His love, and His forgiveness are limitless.
~Man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

kizzypooh
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Post by kizzypooh » Sat Aug 09, 2008 7:09 am

I got your PM. I didn't get a chance to read all of it, but I will go back and do so. I am finally just getting a chance to reply to my posts. School just started here, so I have been busy with that.

From the pm I don't know why I stay...like I said I feel bound or chained to him.
To God Be the Glory!

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Post by Godschild » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:28 pm

The examples set forth in what I sent you tell you why we stay. Father God pulled me out of the situation I was in -Praise be to God!- because I was quite serious when I said that one of us would have ended up dead and it was a a toss up as to which one of us it was going to be. He really did have a very sweet quality about him, but he could also be terribly violent -even brutal. I had my teeth knocked out, was beaten with a wine bottle, kicked, punched and strangled. From one beating I had bruises all over almost every inch of my body. I was almost knocked unconscious and his response to that was to get a pot of cold water and dump it on me. I had nightmares -terrible nightmares while I was still married to this man and then I had them for a good ten years after we broke up. The interesting thing about this is that he has no memory of this at all.

I am 60 now. I divorced from my first husband when I was 25. My second and current husband and I have been together for almost 30 years. Marriage is not easy my friend and when we take those vows they are not to be taken lightly. He has broken his vow to you in a number of ways. Their is no guilt or shame attached to you if/when you leave him. The enemy is the one who brings condemnation.

Romans 8:1 (Amplified)

THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.


It is the enemy who is causing you to stay in a situation where you continue to be abused in so many ways, and in danger of being killed. It is the enemy who tries to subvert the purpose that The Father has put us here for. Each one of us has a purpose that is unique to him and him alone. We are all each of us an individual part of the Body of Christ and our individual purposes are like pieces of a humongous puzzle that all fit together to make one enormous picture. You must remember this:mm"You are in this world, but you are not of this world". When we try to do things the way the world does things we end up very badly beaten and hurt. The way the world says marriage is supposed to be is a trap that so many of us have fallen in to. Then the world takes something like the vows we take in marriage (which is a holy sacrament) and by them tells us we are to stay in a situation where we can be murdered. Literally. Does that sound like God? It is Satan who comes to kill, to steal, and to destroy. Jesus said that He came so that we might have LIFE and have it more abundantly (or to the full). Fullness of life does not include being beaten up. As children of the Most High Living God, peace is ours. Peace means nothing broken, nothing missing.

Satan goes about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Physical abuse is such a devouring thing. With that comes emotional, verbal and psychological abuse. There is also a cunningness with people who abuse. They always seem to know just the right words to say to get us to stay or come back. It is almost as if the abuser lives to abuse. And truly I believe it is from that source -violence- that they draw their energy, It is not usually an intentional thing, but then when people surrender to a life of violence then it does become intentional. 80% of people who were abused as children grow up to be abusive adults. The other 20% become ineffective disciplinarians -because of fear. And fear is the chief motivator behind all of this. But do not let this understanding cloud your judgment. Do not allow your child to stay in that situation. He/she may grow up to be like their dad. You do not want that for your child -or for yourself. You can stop that cycle now.

It is plain that your husband is a truly hurting soul. You may forgive him, pray for him, you can even help him, but I strongly suggest that you do it from a distance. It can be done from a distance and it can be done without you even being in his life.

I am truly concerned for you Kizzy.

Godschild :wave:
GOD IS limited only by those limitations which we, as human beings, place upon Him. GOD, HIS POWER, His love, and His forgiveness are limitless.
~Man shall not live by bread alone, but by EVERY word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

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sister

Post by angelinsoul » Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:55 am

My Dear Sister,

It truely pained me to read your story. It is similar to my own past so it really tugged on my heart strings. My husband was abusive in our past too, but he recieved help. through meds, therapy and prayer he is a non violent man.....
.....sadly, from your story it does not sound like your husband is the same type of case...I too believe ideally we should be pure when we enter the marriage bed, but i know myself included that, that does not always happen.

Darlin, sometimes we have to take our safety into consideration. You were right to call the police on your husband! You should not swear to never do it again, and if he is so fearful of being sent away because of domestic issues, it is safer he doesn't reside with you.

I never called the police on my husband but another situation came up that allowed him to get the help he needed, and I stood firm and said things must change or i was leaving...my husband loved me and has done his best and we both agree that god blessed us by sending him to jail because it enabled him to get help.

You do not need to catch an STD and you should not marry just because he was your childs daddy or your 1st lover...you should marry because you love one another and are devoted enough to uphold the vows you make before god...and it does not sound like he is upholding his.

In my heart of hearts I feel, if he is not willing to truely change, you are better without him, your child doesnt need to be exposed to abuse and neither do you....if you think it might help, i could put you in contact with my husband and he could give you advice from a man and former abusers point of view, he will tell you the same thing i am though......dang, he's told me himself he thanks god that he was blessed to have me as a wife because I should've left with what he did....men can change if they want to and seek god.

sweet heart, focus on your child and don't bother pleading to him, he will change if he's meant to, focus on your own healing. I will pray that he changes for your sake, but you cannot let him back in until the change happens because I have a friend that was in the same boat as me only she did not stand firm and took him back cus he said he'd change, well...he didn't.

So keep hope and seek god, but realize, sometimes what we want isn't always what we get, just take peace in knowing its gods will.

God Bless sister
you are not alone :wave:
~the past with one hand pushes you forward and with the other holds you back~

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