Expressing my feelings

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Dissociation (DID/MPD), abuse, emotional wounds, etc.

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Lifter
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:21 am

Expressing my feelings

Post by Lifter » Thu Apr 16, 2015 5:37 am

My dad is very mean to me sometimes, nags me a lot, and is overly controlling. I have had jobs in the past, but most were not full time or adequate enough pay for me to move out. Right now I am unemployed, but looking for work. Anyways, my goal is to be able to earn enough money so that I can live off on my own in an apartment. I am 28 and believe that one day I would be able to find a stable job that pays enough. The reason why I do not like living at home is because my parents, especially my dad, gives me a very hard time. He has a temper problem and has a very bad attitude in general towards me and my mom. He is also a hypocrite in many ways and mistreats me a lot. He also is very insensitive to me and says mean things to me. He never lived my life or experienced the same things I experienced and judges me. I really do not like him and honestly, will not miss him very much the day he passes away. My brother also had a very hard time with him growing up, but he's fortunate that he has his own place now. I also was diagnosed in the past with ocd although now through will power and medication, am much better. Although I believe medication was not the main factor. I just feel I would be happier if I could make enough money so that way I can live by myself. That way everytime I am home at my own place, no one can mistreat me, nag me, or control how I live my life at home. I wonder if any of you guys had similar experiences now or in the past living with your parents. I really think that my dad is a very bad influence to me and has no people skills.

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michel67
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Post by michel67 » Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:39 pm

Hi Lifter. Sorry to hear about you're situation and that you're dad is mean to you. I myself lived at home in my dads house till I was 23, but yes, at times he was a little hard, and insensitive. My dad wasn't mean to me, but he wasn't very expressive, feeling wise. We really weren't allowed, justified, permitted or able to openly share feelings, discuss, or talk about feelings,, or its how I perceived it. We , in our, home., had had a lot of hurt, trauma, from my mothers death when I was a kid, and because of maybe how she died , it wasn't an option to talk openly, about much at all. I had had a good relationship with my dad as a kid, but then it distanced off. I didn't physically live with him from the age of 11 to a little over 18. Then after high school moved back. I still loved him , but it was difficult at times dealing with his insensitivity, some of it I know was because he had remarried.
My dad is no longer living, he passed away almost 24 years ago. Does you're dad know Jesus? If not, I will pray he will open his heart to feel Jesus love, and let Jesus inside, and in turn will be able to love you with Jesus love and a fathers love. If he does know Jesus, I pray you're dads heart will be softened and more open to you,his son. I don't know ,maybe only God does, but perhaps you're dad had some hurt in his early life and carries that hurt, resulting in meanness coming out.
Pray for you're dad, ask him maybe if you can pray with him.
I'll be praying for both of you and you're home.
And keep sharing and expressing you're feelings! Were all here to listen and help how we can!

Lifter
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:21 am

Post by Lifter » Sat Apr 18, 2015 6:27 pm

Thanks a lot for your input. Yes, my dad does know Jesus. It's just frustrating for me living with him because I have to deal with his negativity everyday.

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uncertain
Posts: 343
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Post by uncertain » Mon Apr 20, 2015 2:39 am

Not sure, it's like I feel at least some of what you feel.

Though I've been silent about the issue, regarding myself.

Though it's not only grown to take control over my life it may also have stopped me from seeking deliverance. And I want to change things.

Some scriptures come to mind regarding my own problems but are rather tough ones. In my limited understanding I'm not sure if they'd be appropriate. But if you like I'll share them and even what has been going through my mind regarding them.
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Lifter
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:21 am

Post by Lifter » Fri Apr 24, 2015 12:03 am

Sure, you may share it. Thanks.

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