How people see you

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michel67
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How people see you

Post by michel67 » Thu Nov 03, 2011 11:42 pm

I had never considered how others eee me but today i guess it got me to thinking.. i went over to my neighbors today, a older lady in her 80's who we have known for years, (and was telling her about the ambulance and police that had came to our other neighbors home due to this woman not hearing well and i knew she would want to know they were there, ) so to make a ong story short, we were talking and she suddenly said to me that she knows im not a happy person and she has a hard time now adays gettng around and i have a family at home and she doesnt anymore and its hard to tell someone to be happy when they have something they dont,, that hit me hard, i never thought people may see me as unhappy and not a happy person, , i also asked a coworker/friend not long after my neighbor told me this to see how she felt and she said at times i seem unhappy but that she doesnt know of many people who are totally happy,,

i hate if people see me as not happy, i dont like that and dont want to come across that way, and i dont know how i seem to come across that way to people and how they see that in me,, i may not be as social, or peppy, or loud as some people, im more reserved around people, quiet perhaps , but does that make me seem unhappy? i cant change how i appear, its what i am ...

justbeingme
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Post by justbeingme » Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:53 am

michel, it's not something that you are aware you are doing but it is a look... someone who is aware can see it as sadness. Some people can see past the mask that is put into place.But not everyone.
Now that you are aware of it, you will be even more aware of it so best to ask Jesus to come and give you comfort when you are feeling down and try to make a new habit, a good habit come from it.

Father, I ask that you help michel to be able to see what others see
and not worry about it
Lord, I ask that you are able to reach her and help her with this sadness
and let a new peace come
in Jesus name I pray

and just for you ((hug))

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michel67
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Post by michel67 » Fri Nov 04, 2011 3:01 am

but i dont think i wear a mask,,, or not aware of it ,,, sure i get sad at times over things that may go on in life and am aware of it if i isolate myself from others , but its usually not in public, just at home, so maybe thats the mask, maybe i see and understand....

i know my neighbor wasnt trying to be mean or hurtful and i dont know why she said it or made the remark, i think she just has a hard time physically right now and it frustrates her and she misses having family around and in her home as she used to, she lives alone and has fond memories of the past and likes to share them and was just perhaps trying to let me know in her way to be thankful and to not let things bother me and be happier and at peace with life and things...
it just took me off guard when she said it and hit at my heart that if she sees sadness and that im not happy that maybe others do as well and its not something i want to have be showing in me and out of me.. its not like im sad all the time and not happy all the time, i do smile, laugh at times,,,

thanks :smile:

justbeingme
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Post by justbeingme » Fri Nov 04, 2011 3:33 pm

when you feel sad but have to go out so you put on a smile so people don't know... that is what I meant by a mask, nothing more :smile:

I am sure your neighbor didn't mean to hurt you. It is easy for someone to tell that to others when they don't know anything about what your life is like. I think you are right, that she may have meant to look at the good stuff and not dwell on the bad because you won't get another chance when you get older.

michel, there was something that came to me as I was thinking on a answer and if I am wrong, please don't be insulted.
There was a young woman in church who always looked both sad and worried... she would laugh and be happy when you talked to her but otherwise always looked stressed. So I asked her if she feels other people's emotions... like going into a room and becoming depressed but it would leave when you leave the room. She said yes, that always happens and she was aware it was others' emotions and not hers.
Does that happen to you?

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michel67
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Post by michel67 » Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:48 pm

i know my neighbor didnt mean to say it to hurt me, we are fairly close with her , she was just trying to point it out in regards to herself , her struggles and the things i go through with having 3 kids and a family. I just dont want people to see me and look at me and see unhappiness or think i am unhappy.

Anything anyone says wouldnt insult me or bother me, so its okay, i can take things well and without it insulting me or hurting me..

IM not sure if that is something that happens to me.. when my neighbor was talking about how things are hard for her now with her being older tears were coming to her eyes and i could sense sadness in her and felt for her and then it was not long after when i mentioned something that she stated she knows im not happy,, i can some what sense other people's emotions , if they are sad, scared, why they are acting and behaving as they do .. if someone is sad, i may be sad for them, if someone is crying and hurt i will cry with them,,, If someone is hurting i try to comfort them,, and etc,,, i think at times people, including myself, put a shell on to protect themself from further hurt or sadness in life,, if they have been through things in life that hurt them they put a shell on to keep them tough so to say , rather than weak,,, maybe thats part of wearing a mask, hiding others from seeing the real them,,
i some times say to people or think if they are having a hateful attitude or judgemental, perhaps putting someone down, that they never know what someone is going through in life, or has gone through and they need to be less critical, judgemental, and be more kinder, having compassion and understanding, and i think that comes from my thinking and feelings of my life that it comes to my mind of having a hard or difficult seasons in life and circumstances that i had tried to make myself seem tough and have a hard exterior in order to survive and get through and not let others get so close and to get hurt,, maybe thats why some people may see sadness .. some times when poople have had a hard life or things have been hard on them it may show through to others in different ways,,,

justbeingme
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Post by justbeingme » Sat Nov 05, 2011 12:29 am

Okay, was wondering if you felt other people emotions and took them on. In that case, the best thing to do is pray for them and then let it go to Jesus and not hold their burden as your own.
If you were feeling her sadness, she would see you being sad.

Yeah, those walls can be tough to get thru but I have found that it also keeps Jesus out and sometimes the enemy in if it was there when they came up. :(

But back to your neighbor and seeing your sadness, don't overstress about it, just try asking Jesus for comfort when you feel down instead of letting yourself get deeper into it.
Things will happen, we cannot control those things but we can control our reaction to those things :smile:

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michel67
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Post by michel67 » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:01 am

i think my neighbor making that statement to me was possibly due to her thinking i am unhappy with my life, or situations in life, she knows some of our struggles we have had with our son and family and knows it is difficult , but i think it was her way of telling me to be happy and enjoy my family due to her stating her health, older age and that her family is no longer around her every day,, she talks to me about her adult son who does see her and spend time with her and she cherishes those times and her memories of her family... she lives alone and does get lonely i know and it was her way of trying to tell me to be content...

i try not to take on anyone elses burdens, i just listen and try to let them know im there for them and understand, but i do have a emotional side that cant help but feel for them ,, i had to perhaps take on others burdens or feel i did despite no one listeining or being there for mine, and thats okay, everyone has their own burdens to go through and get through...
its okay thanks-

justbeingme
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Post by justbeingme » Sat Nov 05, 2011 2:06 pm

I understand what you are saying.
Just remember if you continue to feel the feelings you had with them, say a prayer for them, then give them to God and trust He has it, that is all I am saying. You are very compassionate because of all you have gone thru and that is a blessing to others.

Bet you feel a little better just voicing your concern and that is good. Give your neighbor a hug from me ((hug)) :mrgreen:
Things will happen, we cannot control those things but we can control our reaction to those things :smile:

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winning souls
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Happy and praising Jesus

Post by winning souls » Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:00 am

Dont get caught up in what others think about you . Remember they gave Jesus a hard time. Just keep your eyes on Jesus praising him for all he done for you & love your family. It will all come together .
Living every day to the will of GOD. Setting the captives free from bondage,forever giving the glory to God!

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winning souls
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Happy and praising Jesus

Post by winning souls » Tue Nov 15, 2011 1:05 am

Dont get caught up in what others think about you . Remember they gave Jesus a hard time. Just keep your eyes on Jesus praising him for all he done for you & love your family. It will all come together .
Living every day to the will of GOD. Setting the captives free from bondage,forever giving the glory to God!

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