The Reality of Multiple Personality Disorders and DID

Come join us to discuss the subject of inner healing.<br />
Dissociation (DID/MPD), abuse, emotional wounds, etc.

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Jewels

Post by Jewels » Mon Sep 14, 2009 5:36 am

I wont be here much longer as i have a need to go quiet for a wile and let things cool down.If anyone recognizes what im about to tell u as being familiar to this type of ministry because parts of me are still wondering if its all real or,,what.
Ill be leaving with the new year ( the real one).
But until i do most on here know me and some that have read my posts carefully and really paid attention know or should i have stated from early on i didn't believe had any alters. In one of my first posts i had was called "broken but not altered".
I didn't believe i did. I thought of the movie Sybil and their worse case scenarios and thought i did not fit the mold. I had no black outs... i didn't respond to different names and take on fast outward personality changes...
I may been hurt but not broken off! I was spared that!

Now in the last year i have been in a deliverance with a very wonderful respected ministry that I truly Be-live Jesus sent me. Even before i found the place i had a dream of being im in a house with kids just getting by and outside was lion. He just sat there, i think waiting. This ministry logo is a lion.
Anyway in a year we have through Jesus pulled back so many layers of junk. I did it at the start for my son Ben. He couldn't do it for himself so i was the go between( doing the praying,, and seeking God) ( those who have no idea what we are talking who are watching and reading outside the forum get properly educated on this subject before lying posts emerge wile sharpening your cat like cyber teeth... be open minded if at all p possible. and learn something new and try to broaden ur ideas some and hold back on assumptions and judgments for such things always come back to roost( sow judgment and accusations and cruelty towards others,,in time that crop comes back... the great principal of sowing and reaping is aw ayes in operation,,,,,,,, the world calls it ' karma " though we Christians don't use that word,,,)))

But in the time i started to realize that God had for a very long time had been wanting ME. He wanting Jewels,,the girl. The girl woman who was strapped in time and couldn't get free. I had given up on myself and only wanted freedom for my son. But in the meantime God was healing him he was trying to reach the my insides that had been locked into time.
Now the last session after about a month of attacks on my body and mind and hurt terribly by words that were as bad as crocodiles mouths,,, God must have had enough.. or sized the opportunity/.
Because in my last session as i was in the time of being ministered to,, i felt something i cant explain except that for a few seconds ( do brief i almost could have thought it was nothing) i felt as if my head had been zipped back and something went outside myself.
My prayer partner assigned to me just went for it. She asked who the person was.
See, i had a memory of some thing that happened.. One, I never was able to figure out what happened ,,if i had dreamed it or made it up but i finally told the counselor about it.


In the seventies as a little girl my mom divorced my dad and married a man. He was there in my life out of nowhere and i was whisked away from a suburban home in a little town where the American dream is all about. to a living in a apartment above a bar. My mom worked in the bar owned by my step dad and i just stayed upstairs. alone.
Mom never hurt me,,she checked on me there was a phone and no physical harm ever came to me. she did love me but was in the time when working women were the thing and she worked int he bar and was starting to operate a fish market.... i was upstairs just a few feet from her reach..
But the loneliness... the being alone and by myself and the suddenness of my life changing l.;left a impact.
One is i developed a gift. I have been proud of this for most of my life as it was my secret weapon.
I could hide deep in my soul;. I went to places of fantasy. I would rock back and forth for hours and hours and just go away. I could do this endlessly and just not be there. Oh if i heard my name i called i responded... i could act as if all was 100% normal but i went somewhere inside myself. I blocked outside world by closing my eyes an just rocking as if i was int he womb again.
Along with that i watched TV. Lots of it. I became a addict of Television about 5 years old. In the seventies and even late 60s i seemed to find the weirdest scariest movies i would cringe at today. But i found them on the TV, That early! Yes that early movies of witches,,, haunted houses and the occult. Not just the bewitched series,, or the Star trek stuff i watched but eerie movies that though scared me , and confused me introduced me into a world of the supernatural.
O also had a imaginary friend called A shaman that was a mouse. I never saw him but acted as if he was real,
I recall this. and i recall very dimly one thing i have never been able to explain or even believe really happened.
I saw myself or felt as if i had left my body int he living room and was in the dinning room. I just felt split. Then the feeling was gone. I don't think i ever had it again.

Now most of my life seance then went down hill( except the brief wonderful love filled month es met Jesus at 14) into things i have had to get out of by the power of the Holy Spirit the last year. Occult activities,,, and other thins g though forgiven by God at 14 the evil of it still clung to me., in haunting me in my dreams and in my emotional well being. This last last year has been a great year.I have at time been the happiest in my life as Jesus dug in and tore off ancestral curses,,,and had me renounce things i never knew of.... and i saw the greatest thing of my lifer an the transformation of my son that was a thing of beauty and is still in the phase of being worked out til completion but i finally realized and i think.. and only me though my kids would receive the blessings to. because the damaged me was hurt before i was married and had kids and i hardly knew the difference between a boy and girl. A littler 7 old girl with a 5 year old that was stuck in time. She had never left the seventies or that apartment and was still there. Alone. She had little idea about Jesus. My mind does but this little part just was stuck and trapped back somewhere between 1969 and 1973......
I was never abused in the sense most who have trauma have but witnessed abuse. I saw my mother beaten over and over by my step dad, I heard him beat up one of his employers,.He could give me a tongue lashing if i angered him and i was scared of him and loathed him. He tried to win my favor sometimes but what i saw him do to my mom that,little girl hated him and in time he sensed it and as i grew he started to get meaner and meaner with me until my mom put her foot down and let me live with my dad for good( i believe a a school counselor suggested this as i suffered verbal abuse by a teacher at school and wasn't faring well (1070es again)).
But at my dads there was abuse as i watched my dad deal with drinking problem. I used to watch my dad come in late at night crawling on the floor drunk. I was filled with fear and with a feeling there was nowhere to turn.
I grew meaner. and nastier. I started to get tot he point i knew peoples soft spots and could hurt them verbally.This is as a very little girl. I looked a spoiled brat. I did love a dog deeply that i felt protected by,,a dachshund named Clancy,,,that died by being hit by a car... and then the sense of protection and love was really lost till i with time gained some trust in my grandmother )
The only comfort i had was my grandmother who knew Jesus. In a baptist kind of way,,, but she was the conduit to me meeting him. She gave me my first bible of him that i have to this day. Through her i was able to learn about Jesus through her admiration of Billy Graham and listening to his crusades heard the gospel.
I would be here for hours explaining the journey but lets just say enough happened in those years that i got stuck in time and in places. I dream of that house still and have over the years on occasion though rare of that apartment.
Now i know that its a time thing. Something in me got stuck in that period. I have forgiven all parties of offenses and i deeply love my dad and mom and lay no guilt on them as they did the best they could.,They weer young then and working out their problems to.
I forgave my step dad to who is dead.
But these parts ... somehow must have broke of and just are still there. When it was asked what its name was the only thing that came to my mind was ' evil one".
I felt bad. I was a nasty little girl; at that time. I could mean and cruel and yet would feel guilt to....
I'm vastly different...but apparently there are these two part's that still are hidden int he seventies.( i think maybe a few in the eighties to but hats another story and i have tried to flee that part of my life very rigorously the last year) I like to this day 70s toys and clothes... i the grown up am still effected in my choices.
Last spring For my daughters graduation i unwisely wore what i thought was pretty. A dress that i called vintage/. It had ruffles and layers and truly came from the seventies or maybe very early eighties.
(A woman not a teen) a woman made a sarcastic remark to one of my daughters friends how my child must embarrassed by my dated dress.
That hurt and shook me. It wasn't snotty teen buy a woman., who brought this up...... and it must have been a nice sarcastic making fun of me moment reminiscence my childhood for even my daughter to hear about it( by the way my daughter didn't care and was mad that day but not about the dress l)
I don't know if can ever wear that dress again.
So something is wrong in parts of my personality( some ill get a big hacking giggle out of that remark to their shame)' I did have a man of God once tell me.. U have brokenness and shattering inside u" i thought OK that sounds right but what does it mean?
I also came to the realization i may have been guilty of self imposed autism,. That was my sly secret. If u watched me on a video in the seventieths i would have acted or been diagnosed today as though not quite autistic though probably asphergers( IM NOT SAYING AUTISTIC n Do THIS THEMSELVES IM SPEAKING ABOUT ME AND ONLY ME AS A LITTLE GIRL!). But i wasn't autistic... I knew what i was doing and how to get out of those secret places. I knew when to stop " bopping" and could hear people talk to me and an sewer them. I knew when i was fantasizing and hiding in my mind and it was my choice. I always even to this day thought..its a secret,, i can get away from a bad place ,,and be here seemingly altogether and in the presence and yet be '''somewhere else. in my mind.. deep inside....
Now with the years as grew and closer to Jesus it got harder. It didn't give me the pleasure it once did and i knew that i needed to stop rocking AL the time and splintering my mind off in fantasy worlds. I could do it for awhile a be here and not here yet hear the phone get up and and answer talk a nd go back to the inner world.
Its harder now because of my relationship with Jesus and gets harder....but as part is still saying its a safe way to love.
Of u saw me i look so l.,little girl like. I can fight and talk politics and im not dumb as some think i am because of my bad spelling...i can think logically..love to debate current events... and can act the very normal p[person. But when it gets severally hard sometime i go back to the day dreaming world;d and still use TV( though i am much more censoring..i don't allow demonic stuff at all and use the satellite button to make sure a lot does not get in here, that's THE GROWNUP CHRISTIAN PART TAKING CHARGE TO PROTECT MY LIFE WHEN I COULDN'T AS A KID AND DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER))) and i use the imagination to still run a nd sometimes when im really upset i curl up and find myself looking for a parental to comfort me like my husband. Because those parts seem to come forward.I have snuggled with my pets for comfort and even at times though rare a stuffed animal .
I just thought i was a wacko job that didn't grow up but it seems bigger then that s much Jesus would only allow the counselor so far and told her to stop because to much probing to soon would do more harm.' So my prayer partner cut it short to be revisited later as this part was reliving fear of things my mind recalled but the fear had been hidden....A intellectual part still says"ah come on in this for real? Am i making this up? That was just a kid making her way in the world shes grown up and gone///
Or is she?

freedominhim
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Post by freedominhim » Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:55 pm

Hey Jewels, thank you for sharing from your heart..

One thing I want to say to you is "yeah dress"....What people around us don't understand (and we can't expect them to), is that some of us, do and dress a certain way because at those times it is the only way we can cope and go on.

There have been times in my life that I have wore my gym clothes to a friday night service, because it is the only thing I can get on my body to attend...I can't even pick out an outfit, because that would cause me so much stress that I would not go......I have changed my name, because to go by my birth name brought so much pain, that's the only way I can go on is to go under a different name...One day I will return to my birth name, but until then, it is the only way I could survive....I don't expect other's to understand that, only if you lived with the torment I saw and was a part of could you understand...so don't let what other's say beat you up...God loves you no matter what you wear, what name you use, or decisions we made....

It's sad that someone made a judgement about what you wore. But, I would choose to forgive her as soon as possible. She know not what she does.

She has no idea that in your lonliness and brokenness that you rock yourself to soothe the pain you feel.......God understands this and would love to heal that little girl....He is the rock, and can provide the comfort your little heart is searching for.

I think I read somewhere that you are thinking of not coming to these boards. Can I suggest to you my sister, that we all need each other...some are the eye, some are the hand...how can the eye say it does not want to be the eye, we need you, you are part of the body. We are the bride of Christ, and he does not want any of us to be alone. He has created us for comminion together.....we all need to be a part of each other's lives.....I need you, and I am sure that other's need you too....

You have come a long way. As I read your post I thought, Wow....where you have come from and where you are going to is beautiful....

Hide his word inside of that precious heart of yours....You are strong because he is strong, you are free because he has set you free....keep speaking the word over your life every day...say it like you mean it, with authority!!!

Thanks for sharing with us, God bless you my sister... :wave:

nautical999
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Post by nautical999 » Mon Sep 14, 2009 8:31 pm

i am so glad that you were able to find out about the parts. Parts are really cool.
when they heal and merge you will feel so good.
A thousand shall fall at my side and Ten thousand by my right hand

Jewels

Post by Jewels » Mon Sep 14, 2009 9:22 pm

Did anyone suspect this was going on but kept quiet because i was in denial..
I was thinking im not Sybil...I don't act like that or ever have!
Sometimes i think those kind of movies might confuse people even more...

freedominhim
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Post by freedominhim » Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:43 pm

I know what you mean about "denial".

That's Satan's old trick. He tries to tell us "no we can't have parts, alters", because then he can continue to torture us the same way that he get his legal rights through abuse..

Nautical is correct when he says that parts are cool, and when they merge, how wonderful you feel.....

There is NO way that as children we could have went through the tramua we went through and not have to split off to survive.....Some don't split, they choose to die, or commit suicide years latter......

I had a vision of being in my Mother's womb, and wanting to die from the very start...My Mom was dealing with depression, and anxiety. They had her on valumes to cope....Even though I was not even out in this world, Satan took the opportunity to stalk an innocent child.....He has a job to do, and so do we......

You are not Sybil....Sybil is "possession", there is a difference.....that is what happens when you don't accept Christ as your Saviour....

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RichVA
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Post by RichVA » Tue Sep 15, 2009 12:09 am

Jewels wrote:Did anyone suspect this was going on but kept quiet because i was in denial..
I was thinking im not Sybil...I don't act like that or ever have!
Sometimes i think those kind of movies might confuse people even more...
It seems like this comes up every week in counseling or deliverance sessions - you are not alone even though the enemy would have you believe so.
Isaiah 61:1 "He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound..."

Jewels

Post by Jewels » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:37 am

I think movies like Sybil and The exorcist can do a disservice.
Once they show the worst case situation. and cause people in general to think that's the real deal and the only deal.
I'm still uncertain about it all because i never believed that alters and parts could be recalled and in contact with the core. like they are with me.... i know someone that had this real bad and i didn't have it near tot hat level so thought i had slipped through,,but im not so sure now..i believed int he Sybil movie.. an if wasn't going through that then it wasn't happening.
I want to ask again.... My prayer partner who has been working with me for a year just went for it. I felt as if my head zipped open and i had emptied for a few moments. Is this normal. It was a internal feeling..nothing like leaving my body just a sensation in my mind and a emptying or shifting in my inner emotions. and when i told her that happened she started to speak to parts. My mind saying '/": what? This i sent me.Is this for real?
She also prayed about spiritual autism,. Then it started to dawn on me the things i did to myself were autistic like as a kid..except i was in control. Back then autism was hardly known but as the years went by and i learned more about it through movies and word of mouth., i was oddly attracted to it wanted to know about it., even as a adult.The my son was born and was diagnosed with it at about 3 years of age,,but i have decreed he is healed through he redemptive plan of Christ (yes nay Sayers he goes to school,,and and a doctor we obey the law and go with the services the government provides to give those called special needs and it has helped him and i appreciate it but the healer is Jesus Christ. but i still with my mouth wont say that word over him but say he is what heaven says he is HEALED!.But i just ha dent bothered to do it for myself as up till now i had about given up on me...But by Gods grace and strength wouldn't give up for my son who i know Jesus died and suffered to heal and is healed,,the manifestation coming though in parts ,,is coming nevertheless. Ben is so changed in the last years it makes me happy.... ..because he is happy and the healing i see sometimes in his face and body gestures,,, and slowly getting more interested in whats around him ,the almost nonexistent fits ... are all things that God has allowed to come into this natural world to give me the nudge to go go all a the way and get it all; for Ben100% Restoration!
Again the movies do the syndrome a disservice at times as autism shows itself in different ways ,,its not always the kid in the corner staring aimlessly into nothingness....I still believe that about 90% is neurological and has to be cured by a creative miracle by God and is not caused by em,emotional abuse as the early studiers of autism believed. People are born with this and very few create it in themselves in my opinion....but the few who do like me... may be a small percentage but are in control... we know what we are doing when we go into fantasy... are me but i could do it and come out of it at will,..but it made slant in my personality because ei knew that fior years and years people thought i was odd....

But i could do that!@ I did do that as a kid but i could snap out of it at will.
Self imposed autism is what i did to myself but i hope those who are waiting to bite into LISTEN!Im saying very very few autistic s do this and most are born with it and they cant help it,,,, ,but there are a few like me that took on some symptoms to cope but could also deal with life in a situation at best people just thought u were weird.. My prayer friend said i had this thing about fantasy,,,, and she is right, I have used my mind to escape so much at time sit feels like the norm but i got good at to it i knew it was fantasy... but cloud live Ina fantasy world and this world at the same time.
There's a picture i have to this day of me in that time and space. Its me i think sitting on my moms couch in that rocking sway mode with pillow my favorite coloring book near by.
By the way i became obsessed about a year ago buying that coloring eBay(they don't sell the ones i liked as a kid anymore on the normal market)so i could color in it,,,, i have a copy and know where to get more.... but it was like a obsession to find that coloring book and i did two of them and i prize them highly.
This is a part stuck... i feel embarrassed.I also bought a toy i always wanted a Suzy baker stove and told myself my granddaughters could have fun with it and my youngest...but i just like to have it fro myself to( i still say those old toys are better and nicer then the junk we have today... i.
The grown up says its silly,,, but this part comes forward and demands these need be met and the grown up just gives in.I buy the toy and wear the old dress and wear my hair in long braids..... But im still grown up and aware im 43 and am a adult and have a life.
Its innocent things like having toys around me from that era t did make good stuff ) and dressing from that era.
The thing is i don't want to be a geek and the devil to cause me to be a weirdo in others eyes because of this but theirs a part that doe sent want to give these comforts up.,a nd give in to he status qo which i sometimes hate.But i cant go and have a normal conversation with a grown woman with pig tails and a dress from The 1968, and be taken seriously. But i hate modern hair styles and the unisex or tomboy look...SOMETIMES.ITS LIKE THIS 7 YEAR OLD AND AND THE 43 YEAR OLD ARE ARGUING ABOUT WHAT WE WILL DECIDE TO LIKE SO WE CAN BE LIKED..
This is the same person that uses a computer,,, has a cell phone.... raises her kids and knows how to... knows right from wrong and can get into debates about religion, politics and the best with anyone.I can live in worlds at once but one part being in 20009 and a big party ion 1973 can cause conflict. I cant figure out who i am or what i am suppose to be.
So i don't want to leave now because its just now im starting to realize some things but i am feeling chased off...
I think now people are reading post only my friend and u people are meant to read and knowing they are being laughed and ridiculed by others who are probably more messed up then i am as i have had major healing and at least know that Jesus my creator has the answers.
I wish we could have a closed room where we can talk about this stuff and not be ambushed.
Anyhow i have a about a week so or more before i move to higher ground.I'm not going to let people make fun of me and not have some ability to escape and have some control..........



I'm still wondering if this is all real,,,, but if it is and not my imagination running wild or my prayer partner missing it,,,, there seem Tobe two little girls inside one 5 and the other 7..one called Evil one because of her nuttiness and orneriness .......
But they are kept locked up.... the big christian grown up ,me keep it under lock and key but the deep desires and needs seep pout at times.
Does this make sense? Do i sound like this is making any sense to anyone?

freedominhim
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Post by freedominhim » Tue Sep 15, 2009 2:52 am

Hey Jewels,

I can relate to what you are posting...

Just a few months ago I was doing a spirital house cleaning.....I had coloring books, glitter glue, play dough...when I would go shopping I would always find myself in the kids section looking for more "art" supplies (idols).

When I wanted comfort, I would draw, color, and make art stuff.....I felt the Lord (and daughter) prompting me to let that stuff go, and to learn to run to Jesus when I felt the need for comfort.....all I had left in that cupboard was a bible.....Could just the bible bring me the same comfort those art supplies did??? Yep, because is spoke truth to my spirit...and I was able to read the truth about me.

I am not saying that having coloring books at our age is bad, it was that I was using that stuff to comfort me, because when I was little that is where I went when the pain became so bad.....I would go through some sort of abuse, go to my room to color, and escape.....it got me through many painful days...however, when I escaped, I had an open mind and that is where demons stepped in to torment me..."you are no good", "you have no one to play with", "your parents don't care about you", "you deserve to be alone"........

It was such a relief to get rid of that stuff....I still look at art supplies, but I say "no"...it's a habbit, something I ran to...like cigarattes, but turned up empty, and still left with the same voices....

I am not drawn to it anymore, it has no hold on me. Was it hard to part with....yes.....but I don't miss it anymore....all that time I spend coloring, I now open the word of God, and read stories about me, about what belongs to me, about heaven, about freedom......I replaced that habbit with something new...I turn on praise and worship music, and cry out for God to take the burden I am carrying...he has taken every one I release to him, and I can share testimony of miracles!!

It's okay to do what you are doing, you are not strange I don't buy any of that.....I feel that there is a "part" of you that goes there because it makes you feel good, it's a way to cope....however, I think that Jesus would love to meet that "part", heal her, and set her free, so that you can be a free, to be who he created......she would probably like to rest now, and not be in charge-it must be a heavy burden for her to continue to carry??

nautical999
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Post by nautical999 » Tue Sep 15, 2009 3:01 am

jewels this makes a whole lot of sense. I have a woman i minister to that every time she comes over she has to have her baby doll. She has a 5 year old part that her parents would always when they buy her things take it back to the store and get the money back so they can get drugs. Even Christmas presents. So i took her to walmart and she picked out a baby doll and she loves it. I love the thing too. I keep it in my office on the book shelf and when i'm in thought i am always faced that direction and see it. It reminds me day in and day out how precious parts are and how much love God has given me for them. She is doing so much better and in the last wek 10 or 11 parts have merged and she feels like a different person. The five year old is still there and i will miss her so much when she merges. The first one in this group of parts was a 3 year old boy named jacob i cried because i didn't even get to say goodbye. I will always remember him and his tickle attack on me some months ago. It was the cutest thing. Each time one merges that i am close with it is like a loss for me but it is a self gain for the person being ministered to. God is so wonderful. seeing these parts change from being so sad and hurting to joyful and full of love is awesome. Even the little things like jacob couldn't even say his name at first it was ucob. then one day he came out and says his name plain as day i was so proud.
I could go on and on but you get the picture healing is wonderful.
For God so loved the world
A thousand shall fall at my side and Ten thousand by my right hand

Jewels

Post by Jewels » Tue Sep 15, 2009 4:19 am

Well i am a artist.
I cant let go of my art supplies because that adult me has that and is using it and i think Jesus wants me to. See i was a little girl and wanted to draw but didn't have the talent. I gave up and would go back and try again and i had the idea in my head : u have no talent" and i was frustrated and sad BECAUSE I WANTED TO MAKE PRETTY THINGS. I was jealous of people whop could do with out effort what the little girl in me had been trying for years to do.
My husband final;ly bought me a art kit about 12 years ago and seance then me and God started to learn to paint together. Its a part i have given to God 100%,. This summer as we worked on getting the talent that my prayer partner believed the enemy had locked up from me because of ancestral sin and this had me frustrated ... through prayer renunciation and seeking God and giving him the little talent God did give me him and me were alone outside in the night on my back porch near the pool.( at one time being outside at night with noon with me would have scared me) but me and Jesus painted. I won my first ever prize for that painting a red ribbon and i felt the 7 year old so happy. I think people probably thought i was silly because i was happy at that red ribbon.
At that very fair where i was happy and feeling so free out of nowhere.i was struck=k with rib pain and my vitals went weird and the paramedics i wanted me i go to the hospital. I lost the time i had to exhibit and paint in front of others and lost paintings and nearly a few times lost my ribbon.
I don't think Jesus wants me to give this up or i would gravitate to other things such as more TV and radio, This is a sacred time between me and Jesus as i tell people Jesus reaches me to paint,.,, and i have no man who has taught me but the Lord and his Holy Spirit and i have found scene the deliverance session paintings getting better and im doing it faster and enlightenment on how to do this and that's accelerating. to put that away i think would be putting a emerging light into a bush.
But its adult paints... i do have the coloring books but i haven't colored in hem very much for awhile. im, embarrassed but im not ready to give it up....
See.. i feel in some way i was born to do this and for some reason the need and craving to make pretty things with my hands were there but the flow of know how was locked up. !2 years ago i was to;d by someone Jesus was going to bless me if i forgave some people who hurt me and i think it was around that time i started to paint . But its still been a struggle .
But this summer its accelerated at fast speed, as we worked through reclaiming lost gifts,.,i think i have a thread on here about that and i don't think let something go i want to give to Jesus so much to bless people and him, is something he wants of me. I feel he wants me to paint and paint and paint... satisfy that hunger till it just do it for his glory and let him always be invited in.
But i admit the toys i have int the name of my kids to have Bren buying for myself to ( though the grand kids and little one are more them welcome to play with them.. but they have broken some stuff that cant be replaced..). I'm ashamed but like those toys and though i don't really play with them they give me comfort and i feel im giving my little one something that cant be bought in any old store anymore. I just like to look at them And know they are mine.
.The little one and grand kids can play with them and i like to play with them to but am embarrassed and have kids to cover up my own want of these things ....i JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH MY 23 YEAR OLD TALKING ABOUT A 1- CARLY EPISODE WHICH BOTH ME AND MY DAUGHTERS REALLY LIKE,. its A Nickelodeon show and im 43!cAN U SAY LOSER?
This is all confusing to me... as i feel the girl is coming out more and talking inside telling me what she wants > My prayer PARTNER says not to make he 7 years old grow up,,,shes a part of me,,, so making her grow up is not the option. RIGHT NOW BUT TAKING HER TO JESUS AND MAKING HER FEEL SAFE.
I have to respond to this stuff little by ;little;e as i still have a ear problem and kids to supervise ( There is still a huge grownup me here that knows my kids need watched and loved,,, so i cant get lost in this thread ...) so i can only respond little;e Little,,remember this is all new to me as this was only revealed about a week ago.
This is the only place to talk about it but how can i when im being watched and made fun of? :( :crying:

freedominhim
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Post by freedominhim » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:09 pm

Jewels, talk about "projection"....Satan is projecting his garbage onto you.....you are not a looser.....he is and he knows it. He is being watched, very close by God, he's on a leash. He's lying to that "part", and everything he is, he is burdening her with it......

I am not suggesting that you throw away your supplies, it was a personal decision for me. My freedom is different from your freedom, because we are two different childen of the most high...Jesus.

I will pray for you my sister, that God makes a break through in your life today.......

I'm wondering of you would be willing to start a new thread on this topic, so we can give our brother the respect when he started this informational thread :-D

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Rescuer
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Post by Rescuer » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:58 pm

Jewels wrote:Did anyone suspect this was going on but kept quiet because i was in denial..
I was thinking im not Sybil...I don't act like that or ever have!
Sometimes i think those kind of movies might confuse people even more...
Hello sister! Yes, I think some of us knew you had parts for quite some time but felt you were not ready to confront this reality. God is gracious and merciful and in His time opened your eyes! We bless you in Jesus holy name!
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves..."

Jewels

Post by Jewels » Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:40 pm

Well,,,' I had to go somewhere to talk about this and chose this thread.
If anyone has anything to say or ask,,, it have to be soon... because if the new year coming.
I didn't mean to hijack this post and cause confusion.
Its up to the mods what they want to do with what i have said,. Anyhow it got the subject up and running again.

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family parts

Post by Gracey » Wed Nov 18, 2009 4:05 pm

I guess I'm wondering what it means when you're content to have your "family" and not so interested in this "merging?"
Who I am to be, I am now becoming.

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Daughter
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Post by Daughter » Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:57 pm

Hi Gracey!
I think this is done according to Jesus own timing. Perhaps it is not time for Jesus to merge the family yet ????
That is something you might have to ask Him??? I am quite sure that Jesus wants to minister to every family and help them. We should be open to Him to help us. He loves us so very much!!!!
A Daughter of the King

" .....Therefore He does much more than we could ever ask for or imagine, according to HIS POWER working in US!"
Ephesians 3:20
:)

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